About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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