Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
