how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Everything about him screamed your future.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
