giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize