on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
