Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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