he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
