it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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