She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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