I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
