whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
