theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
