we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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