her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
