clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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