I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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