4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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