Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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