My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
