There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
