Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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