I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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