I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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