She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
