I just made out with a guy for $7.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
