based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
