I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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