You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
