bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
