I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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