I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
