is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
