I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
