Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
