Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
