I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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