Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
