How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
