Your face is a jimmy john
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
