dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
