i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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