You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
