Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
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