I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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