This girl is more easily done than said...
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
