this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
