I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
