Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
