why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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