Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
