The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
