You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
