remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
