Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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