i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
