He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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