To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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