we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Randomize