Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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