just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
