I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
