Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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