He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
